Coachee Reflection 3

Coachee Reflection 3

For this week’s assignment, I practiced suspension with my music producer. In some ways I feel that suspending my judgment was a drawn out way to come to the same conclusions I would normally of had.  I could see how this might not always be the the case, but it just happened to be this specific time. For the particular song we chose to work on, I knew before hand that I would not like the direction my producer would take. Normally I would have interjected when he began constructing a new direction but recognizing that this assumption was based on past judgements, I allowed him to explore this idea in full. I even made it a point to share with him my process, saying, “in my mind I immediately opposed the suggestions you were about to give but I recognize that was foolish, so lets bring them to life and see what happens.”   The results were just how I imagined. 

In this week’s coaching meeting I explained to Amy my frustration in spending three hours on an idea that I knew from prior experience I would not be satisfied with. I feel in this scenario I suspended the valuable tool of experience and as a result I wasted time and money. I asked Amy where is the line that separates experience and judgment? Amy was very insightful in making me recognize that suspension didn’t mean to always dismiss these notions, but to be AWARE of them.   Once we are aware of where the judgment is derived from, we can consider it’s RATIONALE.   This was a very insightful response that Amy gave and it really helped me put the scenario into perspective.  Amy also added that in a situation where someone is being paid for their service/time, the situation is less suited for suspension.  However, on a personal level, I may have noticed a much different result.  I agreed with Amy.   In personal relationships, suspension can show that we care to understand those close to us and this can make a huge difference in creating an adequate container for future discussion.

The last bit we talked about was the idea of the authentic self.  I explained to Amy how I was having trouble grasping what exactly this was, because it is defined by such vague and abstract ideas.   We then had a discussion about music and where it might play into this.  While I do not think we were able to completely clarify the term, Amy shared a really important point.  She said that being a musician, the idea of an authentic self might not be so foreign as it may be to someone who is an accountant.  The arts celebrate the exploration of our identity and being in touch with our being, while most jobs do not.  This is absolutely true.   I’ve worked many jobs, such as construction and bartending and there was never encouragement in the workplace to reveal my soul.  I was simply encouraged to get my work done.  With music however, our inner self is nurtured and we are encouraged to reach a more spiritual place of being.