Coachee Reflection 4

Coachee Reflection 4

     In this week’s meeting with Amy we discussed presencing and the process of identifying the true self.  I briefly explained to Amy what my experience had been like in part one of our weekly assignment.  I went out to the country on one of the beautiful days we had this week and sat for a good deal of time in the woods.   After sitting in silence, began my stream of conscious writing.   In this exercise I explored the different meaning and elements of the word “self”.  It is something that has existed in my for my whole life. I could identify it’s presence when I was a 6 year old kid, collecting rocks in the back yard of my grandparents house.  It was also present in me the first time I got my heart broken.  It follows this body around and has been since the day I was born.  But what is it? This was the hardest question to answer.  Although I recognize it’s existence and acknowledge when it surfaces, it’s not really something to be defined.  This is what art and poetry is for.  I think the most brilliant painters and musicians spend their whole lives searching for a way to express what this is.  

     In my conversation with Amy I explained to her that the area of my life where my true self is most present is when writing songs.  My process for writing is that I sit down for an extended period off time- six maybe ten hours.  I begin to develop ideas of maybe melody of lyrical content.  I act as a detective trying to eek out any clues I possibly can as to where the song should go.  Eventually after devoting time to the song, ideas will begin to come.  The way I see it, one must dedicate a certain amount of time and effort to the song and when they have sacrificed enough, they are given the golden idea from the muse.  This could be a few hours, weeks or even months. When it occurs, it is as if the answer came from a higher source that was not yourself.   What is imperative for this occur is to have complete faith in the process.  To know that if the time is put in that eventually the answer will be revealed.  It is revealed organically from our true self. 

     The future song is written.  A piece of the future song is given as a gift and it is up to the writer to be open to it and recognize it when it arrives.  This takes patience and also a keen sense of awareness.  In the time when I am approaching the answer, I am filled with great energy and elation.  It is an extreme high where all awareness of time disappears.  In these moments I feel most alive and most connected with who I really am.  It’s a very unique experience. One that I very much cherish and respect.